One moment your life is revolving around your kids and the next you are facing an empty room and a fridge devoid of goodies! Home-works, tiffin, tuitions, extra-curricular classes: these super-familiar events for a mother suddenly become fond memories. From bedrooms to balconies, from cupboards to the refrigerator, which occupied your ever so busy mind, appear so empty and quiet, now that your chicks have left your nest and taken a flight on their own. Grief, emptiness, and fear of missing out engulfs you in layers of uncertainty. This new chapter of your life suddenly begins without a warning, leaving you clueless and confused. Welcome to the Empty-Nest Syndrome, something that you had just read in passing, but never had the time to understand.
A good decade or two may have passed between donning the motherhood hat and your kids leaving for greener pastures, and at this very point, a void may set in. Why? Because for the past few decades, you have played no other role, but of a mother! My ladies! you will always remain a mother, and nobody can steal that title from you. But the question is how to deal with the elephant in the room?
The answers will come to you, right from within, if you start seeking them.
- Vent Out
- Depression and anxiety creep in with subtle hints. There is only so much a heart can hold. So let it all out. Allow yourself to feel the grief. Acknowledge. Accept. Share. Take help if you need. Talk to your partner, your friends, or your siblings. They might be going through something similar. Once you feel settled enough, start rebuilding back your life and home.
- Re-focus on Work
- If you have been a professional alongside your parental duties, now may be the time to up the game. Go deeper into work. You have all the time in the world to focus on your work more than ever before. A great time to do all those work travels you had to shelve because of the upcoming exams or the football championship!
- Hang the Mirror Back
- Deep down, you are guilty of ignoring the bare necessities. Your health and fitness have been screaming aloud for years right across your ear lobes, unheard. Rediscover your health and re-love yourself. Choose your soul-sport, show up on that exercise floor, embrace lifestyle changes and get those endorphins sprinting once again!
- Bond With Your Partner
- Parenting comes before partnering, not just in the dictionary! Marital or emotional partnership often hits a pause button, the moment kids arrive. Take this emptiness as a blessing in disguise to reignite your companionship. This indeed is the time you can bond with your partner uninterrupted, at ease, and focused. Spend time with each other and bridge your gaps. As you age, a supportive partner is all you need to get through the golden years of life.
- Challenge. Learn. Grow.
- There are zillions of activities that can add value to your time and graceful greys. Yoga, charity, gardening, poetry, a passion or a hobby, be it anything, go for it. These can be therapeutic in ways you had never imagined. Look for opportunities outside of your home. Challenge yourself. Go for road trips, learn to drive, and meet all the different versions of you, you never knew about. Today, we are living in a world where an 80-year-old woman is working on a start-up. Yes! There is no end to growing and learning.
The empty nest need not always be a deafening void of sadness. See it as a clean slate to rewrite your life and be the hero of your story. Days will be tough, and nights will be tougher, but what will hold you together is you, yourself.
Turacoz is a medical communications agency, a place built by and around women of grit and resilience. Our foundation lies on empowering, re-inventing and upskilling women towards work opportunities and a life of self-worth. Our training programs are crafted around this rationale and we welcome women to join our workforce.
Don’t wait for the lighthouse, become the beacon!